–Ottawa, ON, Our two bipolar LD-ADHD girls are doing well in college. Understanding bipolar disorder. I am sorry if it seemed that way. But I am 33 years old and I have schizoaffective disorder. If he did have bipolar illness he would have one of the best advocates in town—me. Your kids (we have four) will cure you of selfishness and give you and others a reason to live. Bipolar Husband, Wife, Parent. –Richardson, TX, I was diagnosed with bipolar at age 21. Women may find that pregnancy can alter their mood. 1 decade ago. We have been very blessed with few complications and a healthy baby and would like to let others know it is possible with the right medical team. While some develop it younger, this is pretty rare. ARTICLE ; Love and Being ‘Worth It’ Carin Meyer. To spare the kids the fun and misery of bp? Your medical team will help you weigh the benefits versus the risks of stopping your medications during pregnancy. The rules of marriage don’t change just because I’m a person living with bipolar disorder. I completely destroyed my marriage after my wife became pregnant—the pregnancy added so many problems to my bipolar. help it…and I’m trying hard! But I grieve for what I have done to them. Mental illness runs in my family. I'm afraid to pass it on to my future kids. Bipolar disorder has not and should not be allowed to quench it. Raising mentally ill children ages 2 to 9 is one of the most heartbreaking things a mother or father could do. Having a spouse with bipolar can be challenging. Also, I would like to sign up for bphope's FREE e-Newsletters. This could entail: There are numerous health considerations that are involved with any pregnancy. The risk is greater if BD is left untreated during pregnancy. I could never intentionally subject anyone to bipolar and its lifestyle before medication and treatment. Starts off with insomnia and trouble getting motivated, through to exhaustion then hyper mania for a few months then onto the downward spiral to depression. For selfish reasons? When you have young children, you generally don't have to worry about them developing bipolar themselves until they are at least twelve years old. If you have BD and plan to have a baby, try to plan your pregnancy ahead of time with some help from your doctor. Symptoms include severe mania or depression that starts within two to three days after delivery. This is also true with other types of mental health issues. My problem is the severity of my illness, not the illness’s genetic predisposition. On other days, you might feel irritable and down. After all, if committing to decades of, in the words of author Elizabeth... Download bp's latest issue instantly to your tablet or smartphone. –Grayslake, IL, I’m 35 and a father of four. –Kingston, NY, After introducing my new boyfriend to my grandmother, I knew what to expect: “You two could adopt a child someday. But to continue on this genetic line from hell is questionable to me. Having her made me realize that I have to live my life the best way I can and there is no room for impulsive decisions or inappropriate friends. –Wakarusa, KS, There are at least three members of my family who are bipolar, and this, together with the intensity of my own illness, very much influences my decision to not have my own children. This is especially true if your parent has difficulty managing their illness. –Philadelphia, PA, I have two daughters, ages 7 and 3. It was such a shock learning all of this while I thought our marriage was overall happy with normal fights. –Pullman, WA, I am 25 years old and absolutely adore children. deleted_user 07/10/2007. My bipolar husband is currently crashing after a manic 8 days. A child of one parent with bipolar disorder and one without has a 15% to 30% chance of having BP. Pregnancy involves hormonal changes that can affect your mood. –Vancouver, WA, Lately I have been thinking about having children. –Chinle, AZ, I’ve always wanted to have children. Their presence has forced me to go way beyond what I thought I was capable of in terms of my recovery. Bipolar disorder is not a condition I would knowingly pass on to my offspring. You may be more likely to develop bipolar disorder if you have a family member with the condition. let this illness control me anymore, if I can Spending hours on a video game. I worry about being able to provide good care to my baby once he is born. It really hurt my feelings. There are also certain behaviors that come with having a spouse with bipolar that you have to learn to deal with sometimes. My concern is i want to have a baby and i dont want yo be a risk for it.What should i do? The issue in my mind was about having a child without the father involved. and perspective, but in several cases, instead found negativity and judgment. I wish there were more careful screenings for postpartum depression, and possibly bipolar, earlier. Why would I want to inflict this torture on another human being? But, given that I have bipolar disorder, none of those questions were asked. The most important action a bipolar patient who is contemplating pregnancy or who becomes pregnant can take is to partner with a physician team with expertise in bipolar pregnant physiology. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant while dealing with the complex issues of bipolar disorder. I have a 12-year-old son from my first marriage. Still, I secretly yearn for and dream of pregnancy and tiny baby feet. Bipolar disorder (BD), previously called manic depressive disorder, is one of the most difficult mental health conditions to treat. Doctors advised Amy to go off her depression medication in order to get pregnant, but that wasn't the solution that worked for her. Women are not defined by their biology or giving birth, but rather by what they choose to give of themselves as a whole. I Went Off My Depression Meds to Get Pregnant, and This Is What Happened, Please Stop Believing These 8 Harmful Bipolar Disorder Myths, 10 Alternative Treatments for Bipolar Disorder, How I Keep My Confidence While Having an Invisible Illness, Why We Need to Talk About Depression During Pregnancy. That said, they have not graduated yet, and getting to where we are has been costly. I have been sick for five years and am only now starting to feel better. I’m lucky. Do I want grandkids? He didn’t share how depressed he was or his suicidal thoughts. A ketogenic diet may help control symptoms of bipolar disorder, but it’s not a guarantee. The precise effects are unclear, however. For mood disorders like depression and bipolar disorder, genes are an important risk factor. I’m not going to lie. At age 32, with no prospects for marriage and several other medical considerations, I made a well-informed choice. A leaflet for people with bipolar who are considering having a baby. Continuing BD treatment during pregnancy may decrease the risk for related relapse, however. Other medications used in the treatment of bipolar disorder may also be harmful to the fetus. What will happen when you go off your meds? Sleep is a must, as well as having help in taking care of the baby. When pleasurable pastimes like shopping, gaming, or online socializing cross the line from enjoyable to excessive, it may be time to tame your overindulgences. If you have BD and plan to have a baby, you and your doctor will consider your overall well-being along with: Potential risks to your baby are also considered. Mood stabilizers, such as divalproex-sodium (Depakote) or lithium (Eskalith), may be dangerous to a developing fetus. Not that I would ever intentionally harm a child, but by me having periodic episodes of high risk taking of mania and my delusions of grandeur or the seemingly unending depths to which I could sink with my depression. He asked me to have an abortion 2 days ago. I would love to have children (now 32yrs old) but bcuz of my disorder think its not fair to a child.. anyone else struggle with this issue??? The difference between my previous two marriages and this one has everything to do with how the relationship began. i think about it all of the time. I am terrified to have a child. Building and maintaining your marriage when your spouse has bipolar can be challenging. Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition marked by intense mood changes. –Anchorage, AK, My kids are grown now. Bipolar husband, an open letter about your symptoms of bipolar disorder. Today we are armed with effective medical treatment, coping skills, and strategies to manage this illness. He doesn’t see himself a father and we start our relationship. Understanding bipolar disorder. I know she’ll have a better life than I’ve had; she is a strong child and knows what she wants in life. This is how I got to where…. The short answer to “Has it had an impact in your decision?”: No. Yes, I am bipolar. –Montreal, QC, Had I known how inheritable bipolar disorder was; had I known my husband and I would create beautiful but sick and suffering children—I would not have chosen to have children. She is a very happy and healthy baby. Hi there, my husband has had bipolar disorder for over 20 years, wasn't so noticeable or frequent years ago but as he gets older, there are 2-3 major episodes each year. There is a lot of beauty, talent, and intelligence in my family’s genes, too, but I do not regret not bringing a child into my world or experience. But I was doing it for the baby. –Johnstown, PA, In my postpartum depression, I was manic, hyper, psychotic, paranoid, and depressed. People with BD have significant mood changes that include manic (high) and depressive (low) episodes. They are adults and won’t hear of getting help for their problems. –Hanover, MA, I was 19 and completely ignorant about the genetics of mental illness when my son was born. I have been married 9 years and have 3 boys with my husband and let me say it's been a tough road. For those with bipolar disorder, there are even more issues to think about. Looking for encouragement, if there is any to be had. They insist they are not “crazy” like me. how well your bipolar disorder is managed. I worry about being able to provide good care to my baby once he is born. A full year with no medication at all: a recipe for disaster for anyone diagnosed as having bipolar disorder two years prior. As a newly diagnosed, childfree woman (BP2) weighing options for motherhood, I came here for hope (imagine that!) My own health is the most important thing; if I don’t have that, then how can I take care of another human being? They are bright and intelligent. I was diagnosed at 23 and went through four years of turmoil before finally getting my life on track again. –Hollis, NY, I was diagnosed with bipolar a year and a half ago. In considering BD and a developing fetus, the biggest concerns are medications you may be taking to manage your condition. –Columbus, OH, My mother has bp, and my childhood was miserable. I love the thought of adopting a child someday, but I also realize that it will take me many years to grieve my profound yet intangible loss; I will be missing out on something truly beautiful. First, there’s a concern about certain medications being transmitted from the mother to her baby via breast milk. I recently married and have decided to adopt if we want a child. Had I known, I may not have chosen to conceive, despite how important mothering children was to me. So, as a result, I never allowed myself to entertain the idea of being a mother, whether biological or by adoption. Good Luck! My husband is bipolar his mother has depression and is bipolar. It hasn't been a huge issue until very recently. There are many illnesses and disorders that can affect a child, and I feel that at least with my personal experience and knowledge, I can teach my children to listen to themselves and I can watch for signs or symptoms. But if I had known starting out that I had bp, I don’t know that I would have had kids. She is making A’s and B’s in her school, plays volleyball and basketball, and takes hip-hop classes. Here are techniques for coping with bipolar spouses. –Ashland, OR, Since my husband and I already had two children before I was diagnosed with bipolar I, we didn’t have the opportunity to consider the “what if’s.” I may have passed on bipolar disorder, but my children will know that it’s still possible to live a positive, productive, purpose-filled life. In fact, he has pretty inexpensive tastes, and most of his free money goes to burritos and comic books. –Alameda, CA, I cannot imagine the difficulties a woman with bipolar would face getting off the meds to have a child—what that would do not only to her, but to the marriage. 0 0. I couldn’t imagine passing this illness along to a future generation. The hesitation is from the memories of past events and the expectation of future events—the monster that takes over their bodies at times and creates living nightmares. –Machesney Park, IL, For four years I have been living with bp I. Accept His will. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. I had postpartum depression both times, and I was diagnosed with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) in between. This can be extremely dangerous for both mother and baby. He says he can't handle the pressure that i am putting him under. Will it impact our lives? –Chicago, IL, I have a bipolar disorder. When people have bipolar disorder, their brain works differently from the usual way. Teach your children about bipolar disorder. –DeSoto, IL, My husband and I have been married for 44 years. Each of my daughters brings her unique self to this world, and I am glad I didn’t have the option of considering whether or not to deprive the world of their light. BD symptoms can become more prominent during pregnancy. –DeSoto, TX, Code: bphopekids If you have children, then you shouldn’t hide your husband’s bipolar disorder from your children. Our plates are full taking care of me and what the future will bring for him. There’s a chance that BD may be passed on to your child, but this isn’t an immediate concern during pregnancy. Though I do worry about their future, I know to teach them to watch for the warning signs. –Marshfield, MA, I was diagnosed after having children. Copyright© 2020 bpHope. Lastly - your hormone supplements could definitely be affecting your moods - again - just go see your regular medical doc and tell him everything you have told us, and see if he will give you an antidepressant or adjust your hormone supplement. I continue to feel most deceived by the medical community, and their unspoken vow of silence. In many cases, the defects seemed to resolve by 12 months of age. This article explains how much potassium you need per…. Every person is different, but even the earliest pregnancy symptoms usually include more than the…, Since my bipolar disorder diagnosis in 2011, I’ve struggled with depression, too. deleted_user 07/10/2007. –Satellite Beach, FL, I have always wanted to be a mother, but I have bp II, and also epilepsy. I feel a sense of responsibility to work daily at being a functional, stable mother. Your email address will not be published. I strongly believe that people with bipolar or schizophrenia should not reproduce. They should learn what it means that their father is bipolar. –Merrimack, NH, It’s definitely something to give serious consideration to. Breastfeeding can also pose some challenges for new mothers with BD. It affects about 1 in 1,000 women. He blames me and refuses to be properly diagnosed. Truth is, most people can say they’ve been there, done that. My 13-year-old daughter, who was diagnosed with a touch of bipolar and major depressive disorder, is medicated for her illness. I am worried to have kids and can’t handle the kids and go off meds and worst give the kids the mental illness I am suffering. Breastfeeding can also disrupt sleep, which is essential in preventing bipolar relapse. Last medically reviewed on October 19, 2017. Please do not use your full name, as it will be displayed. Of course treatment outcomes are much faster now. I entered both of those marriages trying to see what my wife could do for me. –Tillonsburg, ON, I know personally what mental illness is and what its subsequent addictions and lifestyles can do to children, having grown up in a family torn apart by it. Today, I know I’m more than my condition. –Oakland, CA, I definitely made a decision in my late 20s not to have children because of my bipolar disorder. Today I am learning who I am again, and it has been one of the hardest things I have had to go through in life. If your parent has an illness, it can have a lasting impact on the immediate family. Updated: 27 th April, 2017. Bipolar disorder (BPD) is ... % to 30% of women with BPD who are pregnant. Leave A Reply. And that includes a child that could possibly inherent the predisposition toward being bipolar and/or the problems that arise from my personally having the disease and it’s unfair affects on the child. Having a spouse with bipolar is difficult at best sometimes. It made me maintain my health and illness at all times. being bipolar and having baby. Pregnant I contemplated having an abortion than a year days ago on human!, none of those questions were asked mother to her baby ’ s not guarantee. Children because of my doctors told me that I should never have.... How society views mental illness when my son was born percent of all postpartum sufferers. 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